


The Soul Stone's Sacrifice

by masterlokisev159



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A4 Speculation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Avengers, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Steve Rogers, Self-Sacrificing Tony Stark, Soul Stone (Marvel), Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-06-15 06:38:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15407184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterlokisev159/pseuds/masterlokisev159
Summary: The soul stone demands a sacrifice that Tony and Steve are not prepared for, but in the end, one life is sacrificed for the many. Steve lets Tony go for the last time and mourns a future they never had.That is until Tony comes back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tony and Steve reach Vormir and meet with the Red skull. Someone has to fall. Something has to give.

They stand on the edge of a precipice. Vormir is a dark and uninhabited place, merely haunted by the remains of the red skull who states he's only there to guide those seeking it to the stone.

Walking up the steps, Steve had geared himself up for what needed to be done. He'd guessed that some kind of sacrifice would be needed so he mentally prepares himself to do whatever it takes. He'd never imagined it would come down to this.

"What is it you love most Captain?" The tattered remains of the Red skull asks him.

"Hope. Something you'd never understand Skull." He answers passively, confident that he'd be ready to jump as soon as they reached the top. He is prepared so he'd takes the first step towards the edge to scope the distance, only for Tony to shoot out a hand and stop him.

"Tony?"

The genius shakes his head and ignores him, turning to the Skull instead. "What's the catch? This isn't it, it's too simple."

The red skull laughs and addresses the Captain with no small amount of glee. "Oh Captain, don't be so foolish. Did you honestly expect that you'd be able to throw yourself off and gain the stone? That sacrifice alone is not enough. It has to mean..." his gaze slides to Tony again and he smiles, showing teeth. "More."

Steve had barely managed to hold himself back from punching his nemesis however, Tony pulls on his arm. Tony has become very adept at keeping calm in serious situations now which makes Steve wonder when he'd lost his desire to laugh and joke instead.

"Skull, what do we need to do?"

Tony stands patiently beside him and waits for the skull to stop laughing manically. Finally they get an answer.

"You must sacrifice that which you love most. This stone grants a certain type of wisdom to the wielder. That is the only way."

Steve cocks his head and frowns, not feeling it click, however Tony's breath catches and he freezes completely, body tense. "You mean, sacrificing a loved one?"

The skull nods but Steve doesn't understand.

"Tony?"

Ironman is rigid and barely seems to be breathing however he shakes his head and orders the armour to disengage. It slowly seeps back into the chest piece and dissolves, leaving the billionaire shivering in his thin clothes. The image makes Steve's heart ache and he steps behind Tony, cupping his shoulders and keeping him close.

"Hey. It's cold, you ought to put that back on. Not to mention it's dangerous to be out here unarmed."

The Red skull starts to laugh hysterically behind them but he blocks it out.

"Tony? Look at me."

Tony's head stays down and he wraps his arms around himself, swallowing carefully. From what Steve can see, Tony is looking over the precipice. It's a huge drop. He tightens his grip on Tony.

"Hey? Tony, what's wrong?"

The Skull's laughs grow louder and Steve grits his teeth.

"Tony?"

The genius tenses in his arms and slowly turns. His face is downcast and his jaw clenches but when Tony brings his eyes up to Steve, his stomach drops. His eyes are slowly filling with tears and it looks like he's doing his best not to cry. And there is so much anguish and regret in his eyes that it catches Steve completely off-guard.

"T-Tony!?" He stammers.

The genius sucks in a breath before letting it out. He looks to be steeling himself for a blow.

"Steve. I know what needs to be done." He looks behind Steve and gestures to his own heart.

"Skull. Am I right?"

Words aren't said but the Red skull does not. Stop. Laughing.

Steve growls. "I won't hesitate skull-"

"Listen to me Steve."

He turns his full attention back to Tony who looks just about ready to jump off the damn cliff.

"The soul stone needs the sacrifice of the one you love most. It needs for that person to...I think they need to fall from here and then somehow the person left standing gets the stone." Tony closes his eyes like he's in pain. "Which means I have to-to-" Tony swallows again, face gone ice white and turns back to face the cliff.

Steve's mind goes distant. A deep sinking fear roots itself in his stomach and his hands start to shake. Tony keeps looking out with this awful look of resignation that is slowly etching itself into his features like he knows-like he'd always known it would come to this. But no, there has to be another way. There has to.

"I can jump. If you stay here, you can-" But Tony shakes his head.

"It won't work. It has to be me."

Steve's voice goes hushed. "Why?" He asks quietly. He will find out the reason and pick it apart till Tony has no choice but to stay here. To survive and live on.

"Steve, I don't-it just has to be me, okay?"

"No, you've gotta give me more than that." Tony has yet to give him everything. To give the world everything. He has so much left to give.

"Steve-"

"No. NO!"

"I don't love you. Not the way you love me. Not as much."

Steve feels like he's been struck. "That-that's not true-"

Despite the levity of the situation, Tony smiles beneath the tears now starting to trail down his face. "I think I know how I feel-"

"No! You don't know how I feel! Maybe I-I don't love you the way you think-maybe-" Steve can feel his heart breaking. But more lies spew out of his mouth in a desperate bid to stop...this. It feels like falling into the ice again, it feels like Bucky falling from the train, it feels like hearing Peggy's voice one last time-

Tony sobs and smiles. "Y-you can be sweet when you care. You know that?"

"No! _No!_ "

"Tell me I'm not the person you love most right now." Tony chokes out. How could he carry on this- "If it's not me then who are you going to sacrifice Steve? Who's left?"

"I-there's no one I love left." He tries desperately but it isn't true.

"Except me." Tony takes a shuddery breath and wipes his face with his palms. "Okay. Let me go Steve."

He shakes his head and feels his face scrunch up. He starts to cry, fearing that he will lose everything, that there will be nothing because-

This is the last time. This will be the last time he'll ever see Tony again.

Tony who is earth's best defender. Tony, who gave his everything to stop the Chitauri, who did the same in Sokovia, for the accords, for Wakanda-who has so much more to give-

Tony. The one he had realized too late was the man he loved. The one person who wouldn't be saved after all this. Their sacrifice. One for the many.Tony for the world.

_It was too late._

"Steve. It's time."

"No. I can't. I can't."

"It's okay. It'll be okay. I know you'll save them. That's what you do, this-this is nothing. It's simple. You'll be okay."

"NO! I can't do it. Tony please-" Tears stream down his face as the realization hits. There's no other way. They need the soul stone. They need a big enough sacrifice.

He has to give Tony up. It's too much.

"Tony, please-"

Somehow, Tony manages to be strong enough for both them. He smiles and pulls Steve's hands to his chest and holds them there. They stand close on the edge of the world.

"Focus. Breathe." They do it together and Tony brings his hands to Steve's cheeks. They bring there foreheads together and share this last moment. Steve continues to weep for the future they are going to lose. The infinite moments where they could've been happy.

"Walk with me."

Steve shakes his head but Tony pulls him gently. Step by step, they get closer to the edge and Steve feels his body start to shake.

"It will be okay." Tony continues to assure him but even Tony's strength has a limit. It hurts so much more when Tony begins to cry again.

"It's time." Tony whispers and something snaps because Tony begins to tremble in his arms and he stares at Steve with as much focus as a dying man can give, despite the tears on his face. Steve realizes that more than anything, Tony is scared. It's aches all the more to know that Tony is trying to memorize Steve in his last moments before he-he-

"Let me go." He whispers and their eyes meet one last time before they let each other go. Tony falls over the edge.

When Steve sits up from the water, soul stone in hand, he can't think beyond this cruel way fate has ruined Tony's chance at happiness.

Despite the soft smile on Tony's face, the image of the absolute sorrow in Tony's eyes when he fell will never leave him. Their future is over.

* * *

 

"It's over Thanos. You've lost."

"NO!"

"Captain, now!"

Steve doesn't hesitate. This is it, Tony's sacrifice will not be in vain.

He snaps his fingers and the worlds goes white.

 

* * *

 

Sounds return first, then Steve blearily opens his eyes. There's smoke everywhere and cars horns and people running around on the streets. They're outside Strange's sanctum on Bleeker street. If Steve remembers correctly, this is where Tony, Bruce and the sorcerers first fought. Tony took a stance here.

He scrunches his eyes and groans. His body must have fallen weirdly because he has an achy, tired heaviness weighing on his muscles. Once he's sat up, he scans the scene around him and as he thought, it's a bit chaotic. Then something catches his eye.

Okoye yells out and runs to T'Challa who has somehow appeared standing near her. Behind them Steve can see Sam and Bucky appearing and like magic, their whole team starts to reappear right in front of them and not just the team but families too. A husband hugs his wife and kisses her fiercely. A mother holds her crying child while the father smiles despite tears. A group of friends jump and laugh and cry out it a circle as they're reunited.

They've done it. They've won.

"Steve?" Bucky and Sam stand beside him and slowly help him up. He's shaky on his feet and he knows he should be happy but-

"Steve? You okay man?" Sam steps in front of him and catches his eye.

"I-yeah-I-" he looks around and notices Wong hug Strange. Absently he notices the cloak has formed away from Strange, its on the ground near Peter who's hugging Star Lord. Steve watches with a detached sort of awareness as Peter notices him and comes running.

He smiles broadly and runs his hands through his hair, mask long gone. "We-we did it! Oh my god, Mr Rogers, you and Mr. Stark did it! You-where's Mr.Stark? What's..." His smile slowly disappears and Steve knows he's probably unable to hide the tears in his eyes. That would explain why Sam and Bucky and Peter are all looking horrified.

Surprisingly Star Lord notices them and joins their forming group from the sidelines. He looks as grim as Steve feels. They share the same haunted look in their eyes.

"M-Mr. Rogers?" Peter is still trying to look for Tony. Steve chokes out a sob. The gravity of the situation hadn't hit him until now.

Tony's dead. Tony will never see any of this.

"Steve. Hey, it's okay-" he ignores Sam and shakes his head.

"Tony's...he's gone."

Peter stares at him with wide eyes but the others sense the finality. They know but he tells them anyway. Tony must be honoured for what he's done.

"The soul stone. He sacrificed himself for the soul stone. He's dead."

Peter Quill comes up to the Captain and wraps an arm around his shoulder. He's crying too but how can he understand-

"I lost Gamora too. For the same reason. If I could destroy that stone I would."

Steve buries his face in Peter's shoulder and sobs his heart out. He hasn't allowed himself to grieve since then but now he can't seem to stop. He feels hollow and empty and alone. These people don't understand what they've lost.

"Shield-brother. You must stand tall. Tony would want you to rejoice. He did this for us and we must honour what he has done." Thor says from behind Quill and places a hand in Steve's messy blond hair. Steve keeps his face hidden. He can't face the world yet.

"So-so Mr. Stark..." Spider-Man begins to cry too and it doesn't take long before the whole team has gathered around and are mourning the loss of their friend. Rhodey falls to the ground and holds the younger Peter close, rocking him gently as they cry together. Eventually Quill does the same with Steve. The rest of the team share a silence around Tony's closest and no words are said for a while.

Finally Strange speaks. His voice is hoarse.

"I'm sorry Captain. It was the only way. Forgive me."

Steve no longer sobs out loud but he rests his head on Star lords' shoulder. He doesn't answer, he keeps his gaze firmly on the ground and let the tears fall. None of this is fair.

"Your cloak is still on the floor Strange." He whispers, hoping the doctor will not bring up the idea of forgiveness again.

Strange gets the hint and steps away from the group to retrieve his cloak. While he makes his way, Thor continues to run his fingers through Steve's hair.

"He was near to you wasn't he? Tony?" The god asks gently.

"Yes." He answers quietly, lacking energy. Peter is still sobbing and clutching at Rhodey. War machine isn't doing too much better.

"You were lovers?"

 "No." Steve pauses. "But we could've been."

They return to silence and the people on the street are slowly starting to notice the frozen group of Avengers who seem to be upset. Mumbling grows louder when suddenly-

"Captain! CAPTAIN!" Dr. Strange screams out and suddenly more voices cry out as well. People start to call out for Captain America and copy Strange.

Steve jerks and turns away from the noise but Natasha turns and scans the growing crowd. She doesn't bother to wipe her own tears but she spots Strange and runs over. She reaches the sorcerer and gapes.

"Oh my god. Oh my-STEVE GET OVER HERE NOW!"

He doesn't want to. God, he doesn't want to. But some civilians from the crowd are starting to make their way to the group. One middle-aged woman beats them to it and approaches, wringing her hands and biting her lip.

"Captain America? Dr. Strange is calling you. It's important."

Snarling, Rhodey pulls away from Peter and glares. "What is wrong with you all!? Can't you see we've lost one of our own!?"

The woman goes pale but stands her ground. "He's found someone and I think they're hurt. Captain America please-"

"What is-!?"

"Rhodey. It's fine." Steve pulls away from Quill sluggishly and stands up.

"I'll be back in a moment."

When he draws closer to Strange, the crowd backs away and let's him see. Strange is sat on the ground, looking pale and wide-eyed and in his arms is something wrapped up in the cloak. He's holding it close to his chest and as Steve gets closer, he realizes its a person.

Natasha looks just as stunned and is signalling to Bruce which makes Steve wonder what's wrong. Is the person that hurt?

"Strange? What's wrong?" He wipes at his tears and blinks.

Strange looks up, eyes wide with shock but looking brighter than he's ever seen them. "Captain. Look."

Steve kneels in front of him and sighs. And with one look, he _gasps._

It's Tony. He's there in front of him, totally wrapped up in Strange's cloak and by the looks of it, naked and unconscious but his cheeks are pink and his hair is mused and he's-

"Alive?" Steve chokes out, tears appearing again but Strange nods and stares at the unconscious man.

"He's alive. I've checked his pulse, he's breathing and his blood is circulating. You can feel his chest moving." Strange looks up and for the first time since Thanos appeared, he smiles. "He's alive Captain."

Steve feels dizzy, he can hear his blood roaring in his ears. Distantly he thinks he hears Natasha say his name and he thinks he hears Quill yell out _Gamora_ and hears Bruce speaking to the guardians in the background but he leans forward and pulls the high collar of the cloak down that's slightly obscuring Tony's cheek. Gently, he presses the back of his fingers to Tony's cheek.

"He's cold. Give him to me, I'm warmer."

Strange and Natasha share a look but nod and slowly, Strange lets Steve gather Tony into his lap. Tony's toes stick out of the cloak and Steve huffs a laugh. Even though he's short, Tony's still too tall for the cloak to fully cover him. At least the cloak is doing a good job as a blanket. No wonder it wasn't with Strange initially.

"We need to get a med team for him. I'll go and tell the hospital we're bringing him and we can take him there. Wait here Captain."

He doesn't move and keeps staring at Tony. Maybe it's the super soldier's warmth or maybe it's magic but Tony suddenly groans and twists slightly in the cloak then he blinks open his eyes. Steve feels something flood his chest when Tony's hazy brown eyes stare back at him.

"S-Steve? Wh-where-?" He breaks away in small coughs, but he moves. He breathes, he's alive.

"Shh. Hey, you're okay, you're okay. You're safe now, I'm here. We all are." Steve says firmly, tightening his grip. He feels like himself again. Something has lifted from his shoulders.

Tony coughs into Steve's chest and trembles, starting to hyperventilate. He hiccups and starts to cry.

"I was falling-I-oh God!"

"Breathe. Breathe for me Tony."

"I died. I think I died-I-Steve!"

"Shhhh. Just breathe. Follow my chest movement." He says, stroking Tony's hair gently. Tony needs him right now and he can do it. For Tony, he can take care of them both. It's his turn after how brave Tony was.

Tony's breathing is shaky-he's hysterical but still, he manages to start copying Steve.

"Captain, the medical team is ready. I have two bays set up and Bruce is taking care of the other one. Romanoff is explaining what's happened to the team and comforting Peter, come-"

"The-the stone. Steve, the stone-!"

"We got the stone Tony, don't worry, it's over and we won-"

"No, n-no! It told me, it said, it said I could s-still be saved!" Tony sobs out and fishes one hand out of the cloak to clutch at Steve's clothes. When Steve pays careful attention to his eyes, he realizes Tony's not entirely there. His eyes dart back and forth, glazed and frantic and he's sweating with panic. "I-if I was missed enough! If someone-l-loved me enough. It s-said it! I-was so sure-"

"Stark. It's okay, you're here, you're safe." Strange says, kneeling next to the pair but he looks alarmed. He's noticed too.

"I-I...was sure it was...over." Suddenly Tony's breathing slows and he looks down blearily and lets his tears fall onto the cloak. His hand falls from Steve's chest and he looks so,  _so_ sad. " I-I was sure no one would m-miss me enough."

Steve tightens his grip more and pulls Tony's head to his chest while Strange huffs, expression twisted. "You are ridiculous Stark. Of course you would be missed. Do you even know how loved you are?"

Strange glares at the genius but brushes his damp hair out of his face. "You don't realize what your loss would do to those around you. What it started to do." In a surprising level of care, Strange gently swipes away Tony's tears and lets his glare morph into a gentle expression. The genius looks absolutely shocked, bright wet eyes darting between his two rescuers from where he's hugged close to Steve. He's so...fragile in his arms, it makes Steve want to hide him and wrap him up, keep him safe and warm, always.

"Tony, are you hurt?"

"N-no. Just tired. And dizzy." He finally breathes out and lets his eyes close, going limp.

Steve watches him closely. "He's exhausted. Strange, are you sure he's okay?"

After checking his pulse again, Strange nods and stands up.

"Let's get him to the hospital. Then we can be sure. I'm no expert on resurrection but it's probably just a backlash from the soul stone's energy. I need to talk to Wong. I'll ensure he's okay though, don't worry. You have my word."

"W-wait..."

Steve has stood up with Tony in his arms but pauses. Tony's eyelids flutter till he opens them but only to half-mast.

"D-did you want me back Steve? Was it you?" The genius whispers and clutches at Steve again, looking so hopeful, it breaks Steve's heart.

He isn't sure what the answer is. He can't be sure but he does know something else.

"I definitely wanted you back with me. And I know Rhodes and Peter and Pepper and Natasha and Bruce and Thor and Clint did too. There's a long list, I can keep going-" Tony chokes out a laugh of disbelief while Steve continues. A smile begins to spread across his face but he keeps going. "That crowd of Avengers over there are just some of the people that missed you. Believe me, losing you would have broken a lot of people's hearts Tony. So that soul stone could've responded to any one of us or maybe all of us." He leans over slightly and presses his lips to Tony's forehead, sending a silent prayer and breathes when he hears the quiet gasp. "Take your pick genius, seems you were coming back to us either way."

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed Infinity war as much as I did :D This is solely to make me happy and hopefully you like this too...  
> #TonyStarksquad
> 
> Btw, if you enjoy this, you may like my other soul stone fic where Tony is the soul stone, written before IW came out but still fun!
> 
> Please comment and tell me what you think!!! Free soul stones for anyone who comments, unless you want to trade it for a Tony instead ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up and finds out what happened. The team couldn't be more relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just got the DVD for IW and I cannot wait to rewatch it ;) I hope this little fic helps create a bit of happiness for us and the Avengers while the team is down in the MCU! A little fix-it for what I predict is going to be a soul-destroying fourth Avengers movie ;)

When Tony wakes up next, he's flat on a soft bed in a golden room with some incessant beeping in the background. His head feels stuffed with cotton and his body aches in a distinct way like he's exercised intensely and still has the burn in his muscles. He feels like something is just about managing to block any pain or fear though, and when he blinks a few times, he feels his mind start to clear. It turns out there's a golden patterned shield-like thing acting as a dome over his bed. It looks a lot like Stephen's magic and seems to paint the world a shimmering gold colour from underneath. It must be helping him somehow.

He lifts his head and sees he's still wrapped up in the cloak except there's a duvet covering them both as well and he doesn't feel cold at all. Actually it feels so warm and pleasant in his little dome-bed that, for once, he feels quite safe. It's a strange feeling but one he embraces gladly.

He sighs and lets his head fall to his pillow, freeing a hand to run it through his hair. Slowly, he faces his right and raises an eyebrow at his neighbor.

A green skinned woman is wrapped up in what looks like Star-Lord's jacket (much like the cloak) and tucked under a duvet as well, with a similar golden shield around the bed. She looks to be asleep and for some reason, Tony thinks he's met her before.

Stretching out his fingertips and toes he releases his other hand and pushes himself up. The shield flickers and accommodates to let Tony sit up fully. The duvet slides down and it occurs to the genius that he is still in fact not wearing any clothes. And he has no idea what time it is or where he is. So many questions but the key one that comes to mind is where is everyone?

"Okay. Just, cloak could you...uhh?" If the cloak leaves, it can get Strange maybe, but the cloak doesn't move. For the first time in his second life, Tony begins to question whether inanimate objects need sleep too.

But then the cloak wriggles and slowly unwraps itself around him, swiping at his cheeks with its collar before zooming off. Tony's cheeks go red at the thought. He must be in some state if even a cloak can be affectionate.

Sliding his legs off the bed, he gathers the duvet around himself and stands. Rocking slowly on his feet he nods and takes a few steps forward, breaching his golden haven. The duvet drags on the floor but at least it completely covers him. Smirking, he carries on walking, but suddenly feels the room spin and do somersaults. What the hell just happened?

Scrunching his eyes tightly, he tries to stave off the vertigo and trudges back to his bed. Or tries to but trips on the edge of the trailing duvet and falls to the floor.

"Great." He huffs. He's a useless human burrito on the floor and nothing more. At least the duvet cushioned his fall.

He tries to push himself up but finds it near impossible. His body feels so shaky, it's like he can barely control his limbs.

"Stark, are you alright?" Strange says from the door and is already kneeling beside him by the time Tony gets his bearings.

"Yeah. 'Mm okay."

Strange doesn't look convinced but gently helps him stand and guides him back to his bed. He sighs as soon as he enters the shield again.

"This barrier is from a spell I came up with. It relieves small levels of pain or exhaustion and allows the inhabitant a peaceful rest. But primarily it monitors vital signs and tells me of any change." Strange says, waving his hands around him to change the patterns. Tony yawns and blinks.

"Does your magical spell cage make inhabitants sleepy?"

Tony thinks Strange's lips curve up slightly. "Not usually. Why? Do you feel tired?"

"Mmhhhm." He hums and feels his eyes droop. He doesn't really feel Strange lower him flat on the bed and only really notices when the duvet is removed and shaken over him like it had been before.

The cloak is back on Strange's shoulders but it seems...fidgety. The sorcerer raises an eyebrow before rolling his eyes.

"Alright, back with him. But only till he next wakes up. We have work to do."

Tony doesn't understand until the cloak lies flat over his duvet and sprawls over him like a second blanket. He's warm again and can't help but be smug.

"Your cloak...it likes me."

"Hmm." Strange is ignoring him by not ignoring him. The doctor holds Tony's wrist, counting quietly and pinches his nail watching the blood flow. Then he watches Tony's chest for a minute and reaches for an odd looking device that seems designed to poke into something.

"What's that?"

"Checks temperature. Perfectly harmless." He says but guides Tony's head to face Gamora again and sticks the pipette-like end of the device in his ear. It bleeps a few times before Strange removes it, making a note on a chart that's just appeared out of nowhere.

The billionaire sighs. "If you check all my vitals anyway then why bother with the magic?"

Strange glances at him while disposing of the temperature thing. "To be sure obviously."

Tony huffs out a laugh and yawns again. "Who's that girl next to me? Do I know her?"

"I doubt it. She's Gamora, Peter Quill's girlfriend. She's in a similar condition to you now but wasn't doing too well when we found her. She was gone before you could've met her." Strange pauses his chart reading and looks at Tony.

"Why? Do you remember meeting her?"

It's all a blur honestly. Memories feel fuzzy but for most, if he concentrates he can remember and it's getting easier. But when he tries to focus on when he could've possibly met Gamora, his mind just pictures grey and nothing else. It's off putting.

"I don't remember it but I'm pretty sure I have." He doesn't realize Strange has inched closer until-

"Tony. Do you remember anything after...after Vormir?"

He tries but the same grayness clouds his mind. He blinks.

"No dice, HP. Just that I woke up and saw Steve I think."

The sorcerer stares at him like he's figuring something out but then, for some reason, Strange actually seems to relax and starts to head towards Gamora.

"That's fine. You definitely seem more alert. Rest up for a while, see if you can get some more sleep. The others will be here in a few hours, I sent them to shower and rest because most and the Captain in particular were starting to stink up the room. Gamora may wake up soon and I ideally want the guardians to be around her for that so don't try and wake her earlier if you can. She was more disorientated than you. And plus I want the Avengers around you when you wake up again. The Captain will attack me with his frisbee when he finds out you woke up without him here. The same applies to Spider-boy and your friend Rhodes. The only friend of yours I can stand honestly because at least he has the decency to sit near the window."

There's a lot of sarcasm from the wizard as usual but Tony senses something else. A strong amount of relief and confidence implying Tony, at least, was out of the danger zone. And Tony's heart, despite not having felt much in a long time, starts to feel light.

"Thank you Strange. You're my favourite wizard but don't tell Wong, okay?"

Strange's eyes light up subtly and his lips twitch. "Of course. Don't be alarmed though if Wong steals your phone to listen to Beyoncé. On repeat."

Tony laughs and shuffles in the bed till he's comfortable again. Just as he's about to drift off, Strange speaks.

"You're my favourite genius too Stark. Don't forget it."

 

* * *

 

When Tony wakes up again, he hears lots of noise and chatter. The hospital room is quite big and when he opens his eyes, he realizes all of the original Avengers are there as well as Peter, Rhodey and the guardians. That would explain why it's so loud.

"H-hello?" He tries roughly and sees faces lean over his golden shield bed. Steve, Rhodey, Peter, Bruce, Natasha, Clint and Thor are hovering and seem to be watching his every move carefully. Instinctively, he shrinks himself into the bed and the room goes quieter.

"Hello?" He whispers again, not sure whether he should break the tension.

They all break out in smiles at him and surprisingly it's Peter who actually responds.

"Mr. Stark, you're okay? How do you feel?"

"I'm okay...I think? " He pushes himself up and has at least a million and one hands help him up. He smiles tiredly and lets Thor stuff a pillow behind him but makes sure to keep a firm hand on his duvet. He _still_ doesn't have any clothes on.

"When am I gonna get any clothes? It's cold in here-" no sooner did he say it that he got about twelve jackets wrapped around his shoulders. So this was new. Peter was even trying to hand him his school science sweater.

"Okay, what's going on? People are never this nice, ever." He tries to look stern but fails miserably when he sees how happy everyone is looking at him. Bruce starts to rub at his eyes.

"You're okay. We were so sure that..."

Tony raises an eyebrow and pulls his duvet marginally to peak at any marks on his body or any injuries. The scar left from when Thanos had stabbed him was gone. Come to think of it, even his arc reactor marks were miraculously gone. His body was totally clear of any injuries. So why was he-  
  
A hand rests on his shoulder and pulls him out of his daze.

"You sacrificed yourself for the soul stone. You were incredibly brave my friend." Thor rubs at his shoulder gently and it feels...nice.

"Right. I remember that. Falling I mean, not-" he glances at Gamora but she's crowded by the Guardians. "-not after."

Steve and Rhodey look stricken but Peter practically launches himself at him and pulls Tony into a warm hug.

Peter cries and squeezes him tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what happened on Titan, I'm so so sorry! I didn't want to leave you or-god are you okay!? You scared me-!"

Overwhelmed and exhausted, Tony just closes his eyes and lets Peter say his piece. He could go back to that exact point where he thought Peter was gone for good. The taste of blood and sweat in his mouth, the ashy feel of his fingers afterwards, the strange desert brown hue that the planet had when he looked around. Hell, if any of them felt anything near as devastated as he did in that moment, that would explain why they were all so happy. If Peter felt the same when he'd found out about him being sacrificed then-

"-Mr. Stark?" Peters voice sounds faded and Tony feels like he's about to black out for a second. Steve pulls Peter away and guides Tony flat again and tucks the duvet around him.

"He's still recovering. It's only day one. Remember what Strange said."

Tony opens his eyes (when did he even close them?) and watches them all again.

"Why am I so tired? And why can't I stand on my own two feet? Is-is there something wrong?"

Steve shakes his head and gestures for the others to grab chairs. They all take a seat, Peter, Rhodey and Steve being nearest.

"Strange says that your body is just trying to get used to being functional on this plane of existence again. I don't know what that means exactly but apparently you and Gamora were suspended in the soul stone realm after your...sacrifices."

"I don't remember."

"Strange says it's better you don't. He says it's a lot easier on you if you don't recall that realm at all."

Thor tightens his grip on his shoulder. "Yes, indeed it is better for your health. Tony, that realm is isolated and dark. From text, many describe it as dark and grey and endless and some describe it as the very essence of despair and fear." Thor makes eye contact and looks at him firmly. "It may be beneficial to remain in the company of others until a few months have passed. The same applies to the Guardian's Gamora. Both of you should not be alone for some time."

Bruce nods eagerly and smiles. He just looks so relieved like he'll agree to anything. "Why don't we all stay together? It'll be like old times."

Clint looks confused. "We never stayed together."

"No but we were a team once. And look at Tony. He needs us."

They all seem to pause and assess the genius before continuing with a plan. Tony just watches them chatter among themselves, considering the possibilities when-

"May we live with you Tony?"

Steve widens his eyes a bit and tilts his head down, pushing his lower lip out slightly. Tony is unimpressed and Rhodey snorts in the background.

"The puppy eyes don't work when you look like a rogue pop star. That rebel beard hides everything."

Alarmed, Steve frowns and pulls back. "You don't like it?"

"I never said that. I just think it's not a puppy look honestly. It's a...commanding look? I don't know." Tony ponders. But the question remains unanswered.

"And yes. You can all move in. Even your boyfriend Bucky can tag along. Why not I suppose."

At that, Rhodey crosses his arms. "Tony, no. You need-"

"Rhodes. Let me." Steve pleads and holds out a hand. Rhodey glares at him but they silently come to an agreement because Rhodey leans back to allow Steve some space. Tony can't help the surprise he feels at seeing them behaving so well together.

Steve has a soft look in his eyes and takes Tony's hand in his own. "I appreciate that. But I think Bucky should give you some space. It's not fair to you and I'm sure he'll be happy to spend a bit more time in Wakanda. If it's okay, I'd just like to spend some time with you, without him. And he's not my boyfriend."

Oddly enough heat rises to his cheeks. "S-sure. Whatever you like."

The moment between them is broken when Thor laughs at the pair. "Both of you are in desperate need of each other's company. I promise that we will allow you this privacy when we all return home, your friend Rhodes included. If you are agreeable Tony, I too would like to stay on Midgard with you. It would do me some good to rebuild a home for myself." The air in the room goes humid and Tony can't help but feel sorry for everything Thor has lost. Not everyone came out of this with their loved ones.

"Of course. You-you have to! All of you can stay! I mean doctor's orders right?"

If they wanted to make amends with him then who was he to stop them? Besides he'd already died once and that was enough to change his perspective on things. By the looks of it, they seemed to think so too. What was the point in dwelling on the past?

_And wasn't it because of these people that he was back? The soul stone had said as much._

A bright orange light shakes his thoughts and then;

"Right, that's enough now. I am going to check them and if all is fine I will allow you to take them home tomorrow. But they need to be adequately looked after. I will be providing instructions for both teams. Coming back to life is going to have some effects so you all need to be vigilant." Strange says, appearing from literally _nowhere_ and shoving Steve to the side. He counts Tony's pulse again.

"While Tony's recovering more quickly, I'm concerned about Gamora. Tony is only human and yet he's alert and well, responding to stimuli appropriately. Gamora is still not totally here and she's alien. She should already be stronger." He says in a hushed voice so the guardians don't hear. He looks agitated and flicks back and forth between Tony and Gamora.

Steve frowns and crosses his arms and subtly turns to watch the Guardians talk to Gamora. They can't actually hear the woman's voice but Quill sounds frantic and almost...desperate.

"Is she recovering at all?"

"She is but slowly. Much slower than Tony. It's unusual but what's more surprising is how well Tony's doing."

"I'm right here." A thought floods his mind and he's just about to stamp on it when another begins to take shape.

_You are worth it. And you are...so...loved..._

"And I am amazing." He feels his confidence that has slowly crumbled over the years, start to come back in waves. When so many people care, it's hard to not feel brave enough. Maybe that's why he's recovering a lot faster. His lips begin to curl up into a smile and the others notice and start to copy him. It makes him even happier.

Strange rolls his eyes but lets it slide. "There not much happening here honestly. It's not like I can prescribe medication or anything. The best I can do is recommend they rest at home. It's probably better in the long run. For all parties involved." He looks at Steve and narrows his eyes.

"Don't take him just yet. He doesn't need broken bones on top of everything else."

Steve goes bright red but glares at the doctor. "Of course I won't. We're not like that anyway."

A yawn stops Tony from asking what that meant but he decides to let it be. He settles in and closes his eyes. Sleep sounds really good right now.

"Sleep well Tony. I will handle the Captain. Rhodes will help me I'm sure" Strange quips and Steve splutters out a random response.

He feels Rhodey squeeze his shoulder. "Sleep Tones. You're gonna be okay. I'll make sure of it." He sounds reserved but Tony just knows his Rhodey bear is gonna cry as soon as he's alone. What would he do without his best friend?

Peter and Thor squeeze his hands and everyone says a quick goodbye before Strange ushers them out, Peter and Steve's gaze still lingering on him.

Tony smiles as the lights dim. His team is the best.

 

* * *

 

"...Anthony."

"...Mmm?"

"Anthony? Anthony Stark? Are you awake? Do you know where we are?"

Tony blinks open his eyes and meets the familiar gold sight of the shield. It's still night outside so he would guess there's still a few hours to go before the others come back. Strange had told everyone to go sleep so-

"Anthony?"

He rolls over and rubs his eyes. Gamora watches him closely, body stiff and upright on her bed with Quill's jacket draped over her shoulders. Even though she looks worn down to the bone, she still looks ready to draw out her sword.

_How do I know she uses a sword?_

"Anthony?"

"Hi. Gamora."

"Where are we? How long has it been?"

"I think just over a day? I'm not sure, but I think everyone will be back in the morning to take us home." Tony yawns, stretching his arms out and reflecting on what Strange had said about Gamora. She does seem incredibly lost but not out of it. It makes Tony feel a bit lighter for some reason.

"What is this place?"

"A hospital. Umm..." Tony blinks tiredly and curls up under the covers again but keeps watching her. He's been dying to know and the woman is finally awake. "Have we met before?"

The tired woman stares at him with dull eyes before looking out of the window. In the bluish-white light, she seems more turquoise than green.

"We've met. Many times. I found you in the spirit realm after you died. I told you what happened and then we became companions." She opens and closes her hands in her lap and watches them move. "We traveled together. Over time, I started to go insane. You got scared."

She answers him clearly but he can see her hands shaking. Her gaze is far away, like she's on a distant planet that no one can find. Maybe he gets why he'd felt scared before if what she says is true.

He stares at his own hands resting in front of him on the pillow. Slowly he wraps them around the edge of the pillow and squeezes, needing to ground himself. He knows it's pathetic but he still remembers that grey nothing stretching on, and gets these moments of fear, where his heart pounds and his breathing accelerates and terror floods his mind. He never knows why.

Gamora is probably telling the truth because Tony doesn't think she has anything to gain otherwise.

"You weren't there for long. That's why you're more aware. I was there for years before you." She continues, eyes getting more and more distant. He doesn't know why but he begins to feel fear encroach his mind.

Tony clears his throat. "Well, it all-"

"You don't remember any of it do you? Not even when we heard the soul stone?" Her gaze is fixed on him and she doesn't seem to blink. It's like something has possessed her.

"I don't. But...I think I knew about the soul stone. Like I just know that one plus one is two. I woke up and just knew..."

Something strange happens. His vision goes hazy and he feels that grey fog begin to taint his mind. His body feels detached and he hears Gamora speaking but can't make it out. It feels like something is forcing his mind to shut down, like he has no control over his body-

Suddenly it vanishes and he's left staring at the wall. He blinks.

_Is this how Gamora feels?_

"What...was that?" He looks up at her. "Is that what keeps happening to you?"

"What?" But she knows. She definitely knows.

"The grey? It takes over-"

"DON'T MENTION THE GREY!" She screams and he jerks back.

"What? Okay, okay-" he soothes but she starts to shake and then she cries out and won't stop no matter what he says. Finally Tony curses and kicks off his covers, ignoring the fact that he's totally naked and picks them up, perching next to her. Slowly, he shakes his bed cover out and wraps it around her shoulders. That makes her shoulders stop shaking and she slows down, no longer screaming but still rocking backwards and forwards. In this moment, he realizes what Strange meant.

That place has fucked her up.

"You don't understand! You don't-you don't deserve to be free-!"

He's lucky he doesn't remember. He could've ended up like Gamora.

_Can she even get better?_

"You're a weak Terran! You should not be okay, you should-we should-its not fair-!"

His throat closes up and he starts to stand and slowly back away on shaky legs. "G-Gamora-"

_It could have been me! This could have been **me.**_

Tears are streaming down her face and she won't stop yelling at him. "You're pathetic! Why should I be the one to remember!? You're the one who deserves to suffer! You told-you told me what you used to do! You took lives-!"

His heart thumps in his chest and he feels dizzy. Its so cold in the room without a blanket. "Please stop." He whispers, praying for something to make her stop this onslaught of horrors.

"I'll make the doctor swap our minds-I'll-I swear, you'll remember it all and then you'll see! Everyone will see-!"

Without even realizing it, Tony's huddled in a ball on the ground beside Gamora, head buried in his knees and hands covering his ears. He's crying now too and he can't stop because _she_ won't stop-

"P-please-"

"You should be in this state! Just you wait-I'll make sure you never see the light of day again! You'll be just as lost as me! Murderers don't come back from the dead, we get punished and you are a-oh."

The change of tone, throws Tony off completely and he peeks out from his safe bubble. Strange is here, standing next to him and waving his hands over Gamora. Tony feels the bed thump against his back and knows she's unconscious.  
  
"There now. Enough." Strange says wearily before sighing and taking the thick blanket that Tony had given her and crouching down to wrap Tony up in it carefully.

"Tony? Are you alright?"

He doesn't feel like speaking. He just feels miserable so he nods and stares at the ground.

When the silence drags on, he looks up and meets Strange's eyes. The wizard looks exhausted but interested in only Tony's behavior. The muscles in Tony's back start to relax a bit and his breathing starts to slow.

"Be honest, was she aggressive? Are you-?" His eyes flash the same gold as the shield and his hands clench. "Are you hurt? Has she hurt you?"

A quick shake denies it but it's like Strange already knows. He gives him a final look over before helping him up again. It's becoming deja vu and the genius wonders if they'll be best friends by the end of the week.

Warm hands guide him back to his bed and he's made to lie down while Strange runs spells over him. Finally, Strange looks him in the eye and frowns. One of the spell patterns is glowing red instead of gold. It can't be a good thing.

"What did she say to you?"

As Tony relays what happened, Strange's frown deepens and tension piles on his features. After, Strange nods and speaks with a plan.

"You are not to stay in the same room as each other. You may trigger each other's memories or at least, in your case. And with that grey memory..." Strange tilts his head. "I'd like to try something. With your permission."

"What's that?"

"A spell to lock away the memories of your time in the afterlife. I'd rather not wait to see if you remember but I'll need Wong's help and a bit of magic and for you to agree. I promise it will not-"

"Do it."

Strange blinks. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. You've done nothing but help, so I'm trusting you. And if it makes sure I don't end up like..." he swallows and nearly looks at Gamora again but Strange moves to block his view completely.

"You won't. She spent much more time there. A few years is a lot more than a few weeks. I know you'll be fine because I can already see it. With Gamora..." He sighs and looks away. "I don't know how to tell Quill that she may always be this way. Steve is far luckier."

"It was Steve wasn't it? The soul stone meant love from whoever sacrificed who. Quill got Gamora back and Steve got me. Because he loved me enough." The billionaire ponders and reflects on the idea. Then he looks up at the sorcerer supreme. "Can you not let me forget that? I-I want to remember waking up and...realizing." He finishes and feels a blush settle over his cheeks.

"Of course Stark. It will only be the grey memories of that realm. Everything else will be...protected."

They discuss it some more and after a while, Strange bids him to sleep and opens a portal to the room next door, which he takes Gamora through to. Tony doesn't really see it because he's already drifting by the time the cloak has covered him again.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleeeeease let me know what you think! Comments are honestly so encouraging and wonderful :DDD Also, please feel free to check out my other fics!

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on tumblr!  
> https://masterlokisev159.tumblr.com/


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